It's a Harry Potter Thing

Bug's teacher (who I love!) had a bunch of white polo shirts donated by a parent to her classroom.  Determined to find something to do with them, she came across a Bill and Melinda Gates grant for a literacy week project involving parents.  She had a flash of brilliance and all of this week, parents came to her classroom to design polo shirts based on a book they've read.

Today I made the trek into the class room to work on a shirt with Bug.  This was our design front and back:

Bug explained all the pieces of the book he wanted to be included, then I outlined each image on the shirt and he and I both colored them all in.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in the upper left.  Starting with his letter from Hogwarts, his trip to Platform 9 3/4, The Sorting Hat, and getting put into Griffindor, his Numbus 2000 and the golden snitch connected by foot prints with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Hagrid and Dumbledor on the front.

The Troll, Fluffy the Three Headed Dog, The Harp that put Fluffy to sleep, Wizard Chess Piece, the Mirror of Erised, Malfoy, Professor Snape, Professor Quirrell and Voldemort on the back!

What an absolutely amazing bonding experience for the Bug and me.

Seriously... Thoughts?

They're Still Kids

I often lament to myself, and sometimes to the hubs, okay and a lot on Facebook, about how quickly the little kids are growing. And most days, it does feel like if I blink, they'll suddenly be in college.

And then I have days like today when my drive home from school is filled with this nonsense.

And I realize, they're still kids.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

Up Helly Aa - An Epic Viking Festival

The Shetland Islands, archipelago of Scotland, were invaded and colonized by Norse viking settlers in the 8th century.  Today they celebrate a tradition called Up Helly Aa which is a viking festival where they dress up in traditional viking gear.

The groups of vikings are known as Jarl Squads and are leed by an elected Guizer Jar.

And it's KID FRIENDLY people!  You keep looking at photos while I go start work on Bug and Bunny's Viking uniforms!  Anyone know where I can buy one of those helmets??

They spend the whole day marching through Lerwick, the capital of Shetland province singing and chanting then head to the waterfront.

And these guys aren't messing around!

When they get there,  they burn a viking ship with 1 thousand torches.

Let me say that again. ONE THOUSAND TORCHES!

The whole thing ends with a huge blow out party at the town hall with much drinking and revelry.. and drinking!

Absolutely EPIC!  Who's coming with me next year?

Seriously.. Thoughts?

Here's the original article: Epic Photos From Viking Festival In Scotland

Raising Men

You know those forms they send home at school picture time? The ones where you fill out what pose you'd like the kid to be in and if there are any special instructions you want the photographer to know?  The note that photographer typically ignores because frankly, they're not paid enough to deal with Timmy not smiling when there are literally hundreds of kids that have to get their picture take that day too?  Yeah, that one.

I found that form in our "Wednesday folder" (the folder that gets sent home once a week - on Wednesdays - to share information and flyers from the school to the parents).  The same one, I had filled out, and put in the folder last week and told Bug to make sure he gives to the photographer, because I had a note.  A simple note. "Please make sure his tie is straight". And yet, here it was in his Wednesday Folder a week later and it clearly didn't make it to the photographer.

So, I called Bug on this.
   
     Me: Why is this still in here?
     Bug: I don't know.
     Me: I told you to make sure you gave it to the photographer.
     Bug: I thought Mrs. A would do it.
     
     Me: Did you at least make sure your tie was straight?
     And then fell the heavy silence, a huff, and a stream of angry excuses.

The morning of picture day, Bug did NOT want to wear the dress shirt and tie I picked out for him.  We argued even about it.  I get to pick out his clothes TWICE a year - once for Fall pictures and once for Spring pictures.  Twice a year, I expect him to just put on what I'm asking him to wear, so he can get a nice picture taken in an outfit of my choosing.  I even reminded him that I had compromised with him on the Fall photos for an outfit that wasn't dressy because I knew he loved his 'new outfit' so much.  So it was pretty clear to him on photo day, what my expectations were.  I even had him bring a shirt to change into so he wouldn't be stuck wearing dress clothes all day.  I'm not heartless, I just want a nice photo of my kid in a dress shirt and tie.

During Bug's tirade he said the following things:

• I took off the tie because it was annoying me.
• I forgot to put it back on.
• I forgot to tell you, geez.
• It wasn't my fault! 
• It's no big deal mom, it's just a tie.
• The world isn't going to end just because I didn't have a tie on.
• I still looked presentable, why are you getting so mad?
• What do you even DO with those pictures anyway?

It was like a punch in the gut.  I could just see my sweet boy, deflecting, minimizing his responsibility and minimizing the feelings of another person (a girlfriend? a wife?) 20 years from now and I was NOT. HAVING. IT.

I responded (not as calmly as I would have liked) with the following:

• You are only 9, but 9 is old enough to be responsible for your own actions.
• Trying to blame others is not okay.
• Not owning up to what you did and sincerely apologizing is not okay.
• Yelling at ME when you've done something wrong, is not okay.
• You don't get to decide what's a big deal for me.  And I made it pretty clear that it was a big deal to me.
• You don't get to minimize my feelings by telling me it's not a big deal.
• You don't get to minimize my feelings by challenging what I do with those photos.  Even if I never shared them with another human being, they are MY photos, and that's enough of a reason.
• It is not too much to ask for you to wear a tie twice a year on picture day.
• Lies by omission are still lies - hiding it from me was not okay.

I know that it was "just a tie".  I know that it was "just picture day".  I also know that he was absolutely presentable in just his dress shirt and probably his adorable GQ self.  And I also know that I will love the pictures, tie or not.  But I can just as easily see how these behaviors can evolve when he's in relationships down the road.  And I can't just sit back and let it slide.  People have feelings, and you don't get to decide when you've hurt them.  And if you hurt them, even if it wasn't on purpose - maybe ESPECIALLY if it wasn't on purpose - you need to take responsibility for your actions and sincerely apologize.  I know he's only 9, but his age can't be used an excuse for bad behavior, because when does it stop? It's okay at 9, but not okay at 19 when he's had 10 years of ingraining this behavior into who he is? 

He may not have "gotten" it today.  He may, in his little 9 year old brain, really still think this was all about a tie.  But these words, these ideas, will sit in the back of his developing personality, and hopefully, have a positive impact later on.  And I'll keep calling him out on it, every time he does it, because I'm trying to raise a man in a world filled with over grown boys.  And that makes raising men hard but even more important.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

     
   

Growing up Basketball

For as long as I can remember my brother (Let's call him Big J), played basketball. And he wasn't just good, he was very very good.

So good that when I finally joined him in high school and all of us small skinny Frosh were getting our fitness evaluation, the basket ball coach said if I could jump as well as my brother could he'd start me on JV no tryout needed.  Not being my brother, I did not start JV. Other than one or two years in middle school, basketball wasn't my sport.

Anyway, because my brother was so good at basketball, it meant when he was in middle school through high school, if it was basketball season we lived on the courts. I spent countless weekends and week nights at the gym hanging out, doing homework, running wild with my BFF, consuming ungodly amounts of hot dogs, popcorn, and candy, learning all the cheers, and occasionally watching the games.

I didn't realize it at the time, but over the course of these seemingly endless years of basketball, the sport was worming its nostalgic way into my heart.  I've always liked college ball but couldn't get passed the egos in the professional games. But post-college, I just kind of forgot about it in favor of other interests (like archery, reading, raising kids, and you know napping).

A few years ago, in the interest of annoying a good friend of mine, in the spirit of a good rivalry, I started paying attention to March Madness and all of those wonderful memories of my childhood revived a love of the sport.  The Hubs even managed to get us a tickets to a few professional games. Once just a few rows back from the floor, and once in BOX seating!!! 

Which as you can see wasn't as thrilling for Bug at the time as it was for me. (To be fair, it was past his beadtime).

And now that soccer season is over, Bug is starting his own basketball journey. His very first practice was a few weeks ago. And yes, I am THAT mom, taking pics and video of everything.

From his first basket.

To his first team meeting.

To learning to be a pick.

To scrimmaging and going for a shot (even though he totally traveled).

It took a few games, but his team is finding their groove...

and so is he.

And so I find myself back in a middle school gym. And despite the oh so familiar smell and the squeak of shoes on the court, I can't say I'm anything but thrilled. In fact, I might go so far as to say I'm home.

Seriously... Thoughts?

Multi-Level Crock Pot?? YES, PLEASE!

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!  Go here and buy this:

Click the Picture to Buy NOW!

Perfect for Parties, the Super Bowl, March Madness, The World Series, Graduations, Birthdays, Family Dinners,  and your average Tuesday Night!

And if you don't feel like buying it for you.. go ahead and buy it for me.  

Please?

Pretty Please?

Seriously... Thoughts?

Zumba Day 1

What. Was. I. Thinking?!?

Okay, I did 30 minutes of Zumba this morning.

Cons:

• My chest feels like it's full of gunk - and subsequently, I can't stop coughing and I wheeze.
• I used to think I had rhythm but I have been disabused of that notion.
• Why is the music so fast?  Are those songs always so fast??
• I swear they're on trampolines, how do they do all those jumps? Am I really that incapable of moving my body off the ground?
• I found muscles that I didn't know I had.. or rather, I had forgotten I had.

Pros:

• Euphoria is running wild right now.  
• Energy - I can do ANYTHING
• Great music.
• The funny looks the dogs kept giving me as I foundered and tripped my way through.
• Knowing I'm doing something good for myself.
• That feeling of finally starting.

This is every other day for the foreseeable future.  It feels good to have finally started.

Seriously... Thoughts?

Zumba Madness - A New Year's Resolution

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to get myself moving more.  I know I know, it's already over half way through the month, but you know what? Better to start half way through the month instead of half way through the year!  And besides, I have to be organized before I start anything new, and these things take time.  Work with me people!

A friend of mine (For the sake of this blog we'll call her The Mighty Miss M. She's amazing and wonderful and smart and funny and gosh darn-it, I like her - I think she might even be my people even though we still have YET to hang out more than just at kid events.. If you're reading this Might Miss M - wanna go for coffee and talk about whatever for a few hours? Okay.. enough adoration.. back to the original sentence) teaches a Zumba class.  She's been asking me to come dance my bootie off with her for a couple of years now but her classes are at like 9AM.. you know, when I'm working.  Or Friday nights, when I'm usually at some sort of practice for one of The Tweedle's sports.  Needless to say, I haven't attended even once. But the idea of dancing for my exercise seems like something I could actually do and even enjoy

Now, I could do a super extroverted grown-up thing, and find a place that does Zumba at times that I could actually attend, but I have a few excuses for not doing that.

1. The Mighty Miss M is my FRIEND!  How dare you suggest I go do Zumba with anyone other than her! What kind of callous monster are you? 
2. INFJ - INTROVERTED.  If I don't actually have to leave my house to get something done, all the better.  Now I know this goes against my desires to make more friends - I'm a mushy bowl of contradiction, what can I say? 
3. I'm about 35 lbs overweight right now - the most I have ever weighed without growing a child inside of this body.  I know. I know.  I don't know how that happened either (yes I do). I found out yesterday afternoon at 2pm that Bug's first basketball practice was yesterday at 6pm prompting me to go out after school to buy a pair of jeans that actually fit - because all of mine are too small.  Nothing like 4 hours notice that you'll have to be in public with a bunch of parents who don't know you when you're fat and have nothing to wear.  Needless to say, I'm a bit self conscious right now.  And until I get myself down a size or two, I don't feel like putting on ANYTHING even remotely clingy - all exercise clothes ever - or worse too bulky making me seem even LARGER than I already am - or going out for extended periods of time around women who are probably more skinny, beautiful and coordinated than I am.  
4. I don't have to and you can't make me! (sticks my tongue out at you).

My TV like most new models, can connect directly to YouTube, so I went searching on for Zumba videos I could follow until I feel a bit more confident in myself.  Now, I only picked songs I knew and could sing along with and tried to find videos that were clear without TOO many people because I'm blonde and easily distracted and didn't want to get confused about who I was supposed to be watching.  I found this group of 3 ladies who did a series of videos that seemed to meet all of my requirements and who seemed fun and high energy.  I tried to find videos with them as often as I could.  And I  made three playlists of different music. Tah-Dah!  You're proud of me aren't you? Feel free to applaud.

One is POP with music from the 90s and 00s (is this how you write this?) and has song like:

• What Makes You Feel Beautiful - One Direction
• I'm Into You - J-Lo
• Uptown Funk - Bruno Mars
• Roar - Katy Perry
• Can't Stop the Feeling - Justin Timberlake
• Shake It Off - Taylor Swift
• Baby - Justin Beiber
• Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice
• Thriller - Michael Jackson

I'm eclectic, what can I say?  If you wanna maybe try some of these with me you can check out my complete Seriously.. Thoughts? Zumba Pop list.

The second one I made is a Country mix of songs like:

• We Are Never Getting Back Together - Taylor Swift
• Pontoon - Little Big Town
• Somethin' Bad - Miranda Lambert
• Country Girl - Luke Bryan
• Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy - Big N Rich
• River Bank - Brad Paisley
• Little Toy Guns - Carrie Underwood

It was harder to find country songs so this list is much smaller than the POP one and I couldn't find as many with the three girls I like, but should be good for about an hours worth of dancing.  If you wanna maybe try some of these with me, you can find my complete Seriously.. Thoughts? Zumba Country list.

I even found a CHRISTMAS MUSIC LIST!!! (This is like GOLD people!)

• One More Sleep -  Leona Lewis
• Run Run Rudolph - Kelly Clarkson
• It's Christmas Time - KJ-52
• Santa Baby - Glee Cast
• Drummer Boy - Justin Beiber & Busta

Obviously, this list is MUCH smaller but soooooo worth it! These are on my Seriously.. Thoughts? Zumba Christmas list.

I'm starting on Monday after I get rid of The Hubs and The Tweedles so no one can watch me shake my uncoordinated bootie while loudly singing along.  Wish me luck!

** EDITED **
Monday is a holiday... so.. Tuesday it is!

Seriously... Thoughts?

INFJ - Personal Introspection

For the past year or so, I've been doing a lot of personal introspection.  Trying to work out why I do the things I do, make the choices I make, why I feel the way I feel about things and people.  Maybe that's not quite right.  It might be more direct (if a bit more dramatic and cliche) to say I'm really just trying to understand myself. Find myself?  No matter how you describe it, I'm finding more and more that figuring out who I am is becoming almost an obsession.  How can I teach Bunny and Bug how to be true to themselves, if I have no idea what that means?  How can I model it for them if I have no idea who I am?

A few years back (for reasons that now escape me) I took a Myers-Briggs personality test.  I immediately forgot the results right after taking the test and never looked back.  I didn't even think about it again.  I happened to be surfing the web a few weeks ago, and with all this introspection, I thought I'd take the test again and see what the results were.  Now, I'm not one to go in for things like this.  As Sheldon would say, it's all just a bunch of superstitious hokum.  But I have to say that I've found the results surprisingly accurate.

Per the Meyrs-Briggs website:

The purpose of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is to make the theory of psychological types described by C. G. Jung understandable and useful in people's lives. The essence of the theory is that much seemingly random variation in the behavior is actually quite orderly and consistent, being due to basic differences in the ways individuals prefer to use their perception and judgment.

The mother-daughter team broke behaviors down into 8 basic personality traits that are mixed and matched to create a complete personality profile represented by a 4 letter code.

Favorite world: Do you prefer to focus on the outer world or on your own inner world? This is called Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I).
Information: Do you prefer to focus on the basic information you take in or do you prefer to interpret and add meaning? This is called Sensing (S) or Intuition (N).
Decisions: When making decisions, do you prefer to first look at logic and consistency or first look at the people and special circumstances? This is called Thinking (T) or Feeling (F).
Structure: In dealing with the outside world, do you prefer to get things decided or do you prefer to stay open to new information and options? This is called Judging (J) or Perceiving (P).

While the results aren't ever likely to be 100% accurate, in my case, they're pretty damn close.  There are a ton of different sites online to take the test.  The test on the Meyrs-Briggs site isn't free, so I took this test.  Just to remove the hokum factor, I took a few different tests from other sites I found online, all with the same results.

My results: INFJ

I prefer to focus on my own inner world: Introversion (I).  I prefer to interpret and add meaning to information: Intuition (N). When making decisions, I tend to look at people and special circumstances over hard logic: Feeling (F). And when dealing with the outside world, I prefer to get things decided instead of staying open to new information and options.

According to the Myers-Briggs website INFJs are characterized as: Vision and meaning oriented. Quietly intense. Insightful. Creative. Sensitive.  Seeks harmony, growth. Serious. Loves language, symbols. Persevering. Inspiring.

And that's a lot of words that conceivably could describe a lot of different kinds of people. So I looked at the description from the website I used to take the test.:

The INFJ personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. As Diplomats, they have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is the accompanying Judging (J) trait – INFJs are not idle dreamers, but people capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact. INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.

(You can read more about my personality type here iffin' you wanna.)

But it wasn't until I started looking on Pinterest (You know, the ultimate authority on everything!) that some things started to make sense. OH SO MUCH SENSE!

YES! Have you met me??

So Me.

Umm can we say this whole introspection thing trying to figure MYSELF out??

Every interaction I've had with another human - Ever.  And sometimes animals.

And you guys wonder why I have such a hard time forcing myself to go out and spend time with people!

Without a DOUBT.  I have felt this on SO many occasions, like I'm some sort of personality chameleon, which sounds cool but is mostly just confusing.

The list of meme's that really capture me to my deepest core are unlimited.  There are a few points that don't quite match up but everything else is so spot on, I can't deny the accuracy.  I challenged a few of my friends/family to take the test and see if the results matched up to who they think they are.  And pretty much everyone agreed with the overall results with some minor differences, but nothing that would put them in any of the other categories.  It really was interesting seeing what my friends and family results were in comparison to who I know them as.  I had only one friend take a guess about me, and she was DEAD ON. She's a teacher and her husband is a psychologist (psychiatrist?) so I'm really not surprised she was able to figure me out.  Now if only she could help ME figure  me out.. that would really be something!

I'd be very curious to see if anyone takes the test and has results that are absolutely not how they see themselves.  And someone I know suggested the idea that just because you're this specific personality type NOW, doesn't mean you might not be something different as you grow and change over the years.  That kinda surprised me too.  I even suggested to one of my friends who's known me since high school that I would LOVE to see what he thought my results might be just to compare how he saw me then, to who I am now.  But alas (what a great word alas!), he didn't take a guess, so now we'll never know.

I think the one the struck me the most was this one:

Honestly, if I never have small talk again, how happy would I be? I just want to know people, to find the connection between us.  I have plenty of 'acquaintances' from the kids' schools, activities and my job, and being the emotional chameleon that I am, I'm certainly capable of functioning perfectly in these surface social interactions.  But it isn't what I crave.  It's not what makes me happy.  And I would gladly take a handful of really good friends who I've found a close connection with through REAL conversations over being 'popular'.  I'm just not sure how to get it.  Must be an INFJ thing.  

Seriously... Thoughts?

PS. Anyone want to get a coffee and talk about whatever for a few hours? 

Instant Pot: Peer Pressure Cooker

This box has been mocking me from the corner of my kitchen for just over three weeks. I'd heard all the peoples talking about how amazing it was, once you start you'll never go back, how wonderful and magical it was. Frankly, I've been told it will change my life. So when it showed up on sale for almost half off on Amazon, I gave into the peer pressure (and late night shopping from my phone) and hit the Buy Now button. 

And like magic, two days later (thank you Amazon Prime) it showed up on my door step and has mocked me ever since.

Now, I could tell you I was too busy with the onslaught of holiday cheer and merriment and bringing the magic of the holidays to my family to open up the package and try it out. I could tell you I had already ordered a lovely Prime Rib feast from Dickey's BBQ Pit so there was really no need to try to test it out for Xmas Eve dinner. I could also say that in the post holiday fugue there was simply no ambition on my part to cook anything much less try out something new. And all of those things would be true, but the truth is, it was a little intimidating.

Now, I hear you wondering how could a kitchen gadget be intimidating? Well, the Instant Pot while lovely (and Canadian!) is still a pressure cooker. You know, those things were used in the Boston Marathon bombing. You know the one where 3 people were killed and 264 people were injured??? The idea of using something like that in my house where my family lives was a bit disconcerting.

And still, the box has mocked me. Daring me daily to give it a whirl. All the other kids are using it. C'mon.. you know you want to. 

And honestly, who am I to fight peer pressure from a box? So tonight, I opened up the box, and found a prettier box. 

And when I opened up that box, I found this shiny beauty.

And for my first trick.. I'm making this pot roast recipe I found via Pinterest. I figure I have about a 50/50 chance of either enjoying a wonderful pot roast dinner in about a half hour, or I'll blow up my house. Care to take bets?

Seriously... Thoughts?

Update: 

No houses were blown down in the making of this amazing looking dinner.  

I will say I really loved the ability to sear the meat right there inside the instant pot instead of having to use up a separate pan.  Can't wait to figure out what I'll make next!

PS - don't judge my paper plate - just don't.

I'm Resolute

It's the time of year for resolutions! I know many of you think they're silly and most resolutions are broken within the first month. But, if you know me, I'll grab onto any excuse to make a list! Bring on the bullets, the indents, the ability to cross things off even if I completed them before I even made my list! And don't look at me like that. You know you do it too just to make yourself feel like you've accomplished more than just making the list itself!

My fanatical list making needs aside, I do try to keep mine realistic and I definitely think of them more as guidelines for the new year as opposed to hard and fast rules. I guess I look at them more as goals for changes I'd like to see in my life and the new year is as good of an excuse as any to start making changes. Everyone's got to start some time.

My list inevitably includes having more patience for my family. In fact, it typically tops the list. I'm what you might call a type A personality. (I know you're shocked! It was the list making that gave it away, wasn't it?) And that isn't usually as conducive to the calm, zen parenting style I'd like to be known for.  On the other hand, my kids aren't likely to miss as many assignments or meetings or events and their activities rarely lack for a team parent or girl scout cookie chair, so you know, it's a balancing act.

I will of course, have the obligatory weight loss / get into better shape resolution. Nothing to aggressive so you won't see work out 7 days a week or go vegetarian on my list. You will find something along the lines of exercise for a half hour 3 days a week, walk the dogs for goodness sake you horrible pet owner, a stern reminder that veggies are my friend and not the enemy and maybe some trash talk about chocolate to break us up.

The last of the things on my list are more about being creative and finding more me time. I joined a book club mid 2015. I think I made 1 or 2 (am I just being optimistic here?) for all of 2016. And that was pretty much the only "me" activity I had going outside of hanging with the other moms at whatever event the kids had going on. And I really don't think that counts.  So I want to try to do things this year that make me happy and make me feel like a complete person outside of my kids. In the last two years I've really come to appreciate how important that is.

Which brings me to my complete lack of social life. This will be the hard one for me to change. Somewhere along the line I turned into a hermit. I don't know how that happened. I know as you get older it's harder to make friends. And since my core group of friends are scattered across the country finding alternate ways of really connecting with people on your own is hard. Like, really really hard. And even harder when you regularly convince yourself that staying home is a better plan.

And with that, I present my 2017 New Year's Resolutions.

1. Have more patience for my family and myself.

• I don't have to be perfect.
• The kids don't have to be perfect.
• My way isn't the only way (even if it is the best way!)
• Failure is how people learn. It's okay to let the kids fail - it's not the same as letting them down.

2. Lose weight / get more active.

• Workout 3 days a week for at least a half hour.
• Get back to walking the dogs twice a day.
• More greens / less carbs.
• I'm not going to say break up with chocolate, but maybe it's time to see chocolate less. Get some space and perspective on the relationship.

3. Get the blog back up and going. 

• Make a new post at least once a week - just keepin' it real folks.

4. Get back into your photography.

• Post a new photo at least once a week (see how I killed two birds with one stone - realistic goals folks. That's how it's done!)

5. Be more social.

• Make plans with my local friends and keep them.
• Go to the book club meetings.
• Meet ups? Do regular over 40 people do those?
• Maybe start up a regular mom's get together and just invite everyone and see who shows up? And then even if no one comes I have a nice time out alone. Right?
• Join a photography class or an exercise group? (There are those pesky two birds again).

And that's it. I may add to the list as the year wears on.. but that's my core resolution for this year. Stick around and we'll see how 2017 goes.

Seriously... Thoughts?

New Year 2017: Let's Catch Up

So, I made one whole post in 2015 and nothing in 2016. I have to tell you I've missed my blog. So, with the new year comes a new commitment to my blog and maybe vicariously, myself.

And while I have a TON of things swimming around in this little head of mine to talk about, I think I'll start with an update since it has been 2 years since I wrote anything.

LW: What do I say about my little Lone Wolf (who as a reminder can't do anything alone)? She's still plugging away at her undergrad degree. She's only take one or two classes a semester because she's working almost full time at a swim lesson company as tech support. She moved out of her grandmother's and moved in with her boyfriend at his parent's house. They hope to move out into their own place soon.

GG: My sweet Glamour Girl is about to start her LAST semester of her under grad degree. When LW moved out of their grandmother's house, GG moved in. She has two new kitties and is happily single and having fun with her friends.  Last I heard she planned to work for a year before going back for her Masters.

The Hubs: He completed not only his undergrad, but just wrapped up his graduate degree. His biggest issue now is having  no clue what he wants to do it all of his new found spare time after 6 years of schooling.

Bunny:  My girl is 11 now. And a 6th grader. Can you believe that?? Not to sound like the proverbial old woman, but when did that happen???? And where was I??? Okay, back to Bunny. 6th grade in a new school where she didn't really know anyone with 7 different classes and teachers and teaching styles and expectations has been an adjustment. Throw in all of her classes are honors and it has been not just an adjustment but a challenge.  She and I are working through studying and organizational skills.  She's also did soccer in the fall, she's a girl scout, and in choir and youth group at our church not to mention socializing with her friends. She's a very busy kid that's for sure.

Bug: My boy is 9 years old now and in the 3rd grade. He's a soccer playing superstar and is about to try his hands basketball in the Spring. He did baseball last Spring but decided it wasn't his thing. He's had exactly one scrimmage for basketball and loved it. As a girl who grew up on basketball, this mama couldn't be more proud. I just hope his games don't interfere with March Madness! He's also in his 3rd year of boy scouts, and in choir at our church.

And Me: I'm 42 now. 42. Most of my life right now is kid centric (can you say driving the kids across all God's creation All. Of. The. Time) I think this year will be more about my own journey.  So if you're interested in reading about how this middle aged caterpillar transforms into a middle aged butterfly..you're welcome to come along for the ride.

Seriously.. Thought?

PS Happy New Year Everyone!

What's So Bad About Just Wearing Leggings?

Friday night, here in SoCal was pretty cold. Cold enough, that I wanted Bunny to wear more than just her soccer shorts to her Friday night practice. Her one pair of sweatpants, like many of her clothes, were suddenly too short after a 4 inch growth spurt over the summer. After much back and forth, we decided on a pair of lined leggings. The thing is, along with height, my beautiful 9 year old has developed hips, curves and legs for miles. And her tight fitting leggings were only emphasizing all these changes.  So, I was a bit uncomfortable with her wearing just the leggings to practice.

I asked her to put some shorts on over the leggings. And, not unusual for her, she pushed back. She did NOT want to wear shorts over the top. She didn't need two layers, she insisted. It was uncomfortable and she didn't like it. And quite frankly, her complaints while likely true, weren't doing much to sway me until she glared at me, hands on newly blossomed hips and asked "What is so bad about just wearing leggings?!?"

I am not one of those parents or people who believe a woman wearing provocative clothes deserves what she gets. I am also not one of those parents who thinks girls should be sent home because a bra strap showing in school is somehow too provocative and distracting to male students. I am however the kind of parent who thinks girls should be sent home from school for wearing shirts that are too tight, skirts that are too short, or outfits that are too revealing not because they are too distracting to the boys in school, but because it isn't appropriate for a learning environment. It's a school, not a bar.

And I equally believe guys should be sent home for wearing their jeans around their knees to show off their underwear. Not because poor weak woman just can't control themselves around this kind of peacock display of maleness, but because it doesn't belong I'm school. Save those outfits for date nights and hanging out with your friends.  I think girls can wear whatever they and their parents are okay with and women can wear whatever they want.

So, why did these leggings make me so uncomfortable? Because, we have not yet gotten to the point as a society where we've taught the majority of our young men that girls are not objects. And I didn't want my daughter at the tender age of 9 to have to deal with being objectified, or to have to fend off any unwanted attention.  Because while her body is growing these beautiful and natural womanly curves, she's still only 9. And it's my job as her parent to not only protect her, but to teach her how to protect herself from inappropriate behaviors of the opposite sex.

My daughter should be able to wear whatever she wants damnit!  But I feel compelled to teach her to be conservative in her choices until she's better equipped to handle the consequences.  I feel so sad by having to make this choice. And I am more profoundly affected by this than I thought I'd be when the conversation started.

I will say, I let her wear just the leggings on Friday night. The girls practiced soccer, did cartwheels, giggled, made up songs and generally enjoyed just being kids completely unaware of my concerns. It was wonderful.

And then today, I bought her sweatpants.

Seriously... Thoughts?

My Girl Isn't Perfect... And Neither Am I.

I'd recently heard from Bunny that her best friend's mom didn't want her over for a play date because she thought Bunny was a "bad influence".  This is the second time I've heard this about Bunny, although the first time was in first grade (three years ago).  Now, in all fairness, I do try to see my little girl clearly.  She's not perfect.  She's a bundle of energy, ambition and drive. She's smart and headstrong and a teeny, tiny, bit stubborn which she just might, maybe, kinda, sorta get from me.  All of these strong leadership traits sometimes make her hard to handle. So, I get it that some parents might see the force that is my kid as a "bad influence".  Still, it's worrisome to hear.  Especially as she gets older. I don't fool myself into believing that the kid she is at home is always the kid she is at school.  I know these differences will only get more pronounced the older she gets.  I figure it's my job as her parent to make sure that her school behavior and her at home behavior are at least in line with each other and that she continues to make good, solid choices even when I'm not around.  Knowing that she's had a very rocky start to this school year in terms of getting in trouble made me take a serious look at Bunny and what she's been up to.  This was a few weeks ago.

I won't go into details, but I will say, last week things came to a head with a situation which required us to end her friendship with her best friend.  I don't like to do things like this, for a couple of reasons but mostly I think kids need to work out their own relationships for the most part, and learn to determine who is good for them, and who isn't.  We went through this with GG in middle school, with her alternately super happy or in tears depending on how her "friends" decided to treat her that day.  It's a helpless feeling, but relationships are difficult and learning to navigate them is part of the process of growing up.  In this case though, both The Hubs and I agreed we needed to step in.  Her teacher was notified and moved her away from her best friend in the class room.  A recess supervisor was alerted to help keep them apart during recess and lunch.  We didn't want any sneaking around to hang out together.  We also ended all phone contact and of course, no more play dates.

It's been almost a week now.  Bunny has chosen to surround herself with girls who for the most part are good kids who don't tend to get into trouble.  And you know what?  Bunny hasn't had her name on the board all week, and no additional trips to detention.  I can't tell you what a huge relief this is.

But the snarky, sarcastic, mean, not perfect part of me can't help but feel a little vindicated that while my "bad influence" daughter has managed to stay out of trouble, her former best friend hasn't.  I worry about my girl.. All. The. Time.  I want to reign her in so she can be a functioning/contributing member of her class without squashing her spirit.  I love all the things about her.  The funny parts, the stubborn parts, the artistic parts, even the hard to handle parts.  But loving her, means I also need to 'see' her for who she is, not who I think she is.  Perhaps we'd have less "bad influences" if more parents could manage to do the same.  Not that I know anything, because Lord knows I'm not perfect either.

Seriously... Thoughts?

The Big 10

Today is our official 10 year anniversary.  If you know our family at all, you know a rose ceremony was part of our wedding.  This is where we all (LW, GG, The Hubs and myself) exchanged roses.  The point of this was to symbolize the change in our relationships as we became a family and we come together every year to exchange roses again - adding Bug and Bunny along the way, and talk about what our personal goals are to help make our family stronger.  Since we're all very busy people, we don't always do it exactly on our anniversary, so last night was our night to celebrate.  Since it was our TEN YEAR anniversary, I thought I'd shake things up a bit.

A few weeks ago I sent an email out to LW, GG and The Hubs asking them to provide me with 10 unique reasons they like/love LW, GG, Bug and Bunny respectively - with  reminder that they can't submit reasons why the love themselves.  Their egos are fine people, just trust me on this.  I sat down with Bug and Bunny separately and asked them to do the same thing. Then I got to crafting, hole punching, cutting - SO MUCH CUTTING - and double sided sticky taping and this is what I came up with.

Each kid was presented with this little booklet, made from playing cards and craft paper. It included 10 reasons from each of their siblings, 10 reasons from The Hubs, 10 reasons from me and then two extras reasons about why we like/love them to make 52 reasons.

The thing I really liked about this project was it really made everyone think about each other.  Really figure out what it is they love about them.  It was fun to see when everyone came up with similar answers - Like Bug is really funny, or Bunny sings a lot.

And more funny when the answers contradicted each other.  Like when LW said that GG wasn't judgmental, but GG said that one of the things she loved best about LW was that they could sit and judge things/people together.  (All in good fun of course - no feelings were hurt in the making of these booklets).

The best part though, was letting the kids read their booklets and try to figure out who said what.  Some were obvious, and some not so much.

But ultimately, it let each of the kids feel really good about themselves and about how the rest of the family sees them.  I can't believe we've made it 10 years, but it's easy to see the love in our family that holds us together.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

PS - this project was not my idea, I found it on Pintrest!

8 Year Old Logic

A few days beffore we set off on our trip to Yellowstone I reminded Bug and Bunny know that we were going to be meeting up with not only grandma and grandpa, but with my cousin B and her two kids J and G.  B is my cousin, but she's a lot older from a different generation than I am.  And her kids are more Lone Wolf's age instead of Bug and Bunny aged.  This conversation for some reason, elicited an almost instant hysterical break down from Bunny.  In previous conversations about our trip, I guess Bunny hadn't caught on to the fact that J and B are much older than she is.  They weren't going to be more kids to play with, but more like grown ups. Not super old grown ups like Mommy, but you know, for an 8 year old, grown up is grown up.  

For some reason, my little girl got it into her head that J and G wouldn't want to hang out with them.  More, that they wouldn't even LIKE her.  Seriously, this had her broken down in tears because these new cousins she was about to meet weren't going to like her, or want to talk to her, or be around her because she was a little kid and they were grown ups. 

Between sobs and consoling snuggles I talked to her about how family always loves family.  And how they were coming all this way, in part, to meet her and Bug.  And how, I was SURE, they were all going to love her.  I mean, honestly, who wouldn't love her?  Nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, I said could convince her. 

Clearly, I had no idea what I was talking about, and she didn't just make a new best friend for life.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

Yellowstone Day 2

Gooooooood Morning Yellowstone!  This photo is brought to you by Bug.  I took one too, but I liked this one so much better.  We woke ourselves up pretty early on day two hoping to see some animals, but all we saw were the two legged hungry kind on their way to the main lodge for their cup of joe. The view from the lodge's considerable front porch (minus the construction) was probably as much of a draw as the joe.

I gave the kids a choice of a slow day driving up and stopping at whatever we wanted to see along the way and going on a hike.  The yells of "hike" are still echoing across Lake Yellowstone today.  After a quick check-in with the front desk on what hike would be good with two small children and we were on our way to Storm Point trail which begins right next to Indian Pond.

Isn't it pretty?  We followed the trails into the woods which even at 9am was better than being out under the direct sun.   It's always nice walking through the woods.  We've done a ton of hiking as a family and there is just something about walking through the woods that slows everything down.  I don't know if it's the quiet and lack of distractions, or if it's just us being alone as a family, but we do love our hikes.  

We were walking along talking about this and that when this view popped up out of no where.  Such an amazing view of the lake and we walked along beside it for a while before we hit this very cute wooden bridge.  I love wooden bridges.  I have no idea why, but there's nothing like the sound and feel of walking on one.  I say we convert all sidewalks to wooden walkways.  I bet we'd all be a lot happier!

About half way through our hike we found ourselves at this beautiful overlook.  

We were all having a good time, enjoying the view when Bunny - my fearless girl - walked right up to the edge of that 30 foot drop behind them down to the water and large boulders sure to crush her little bones. And then I lost my mind.  Now, *I* am afraid of heights, but neither of my kids seems to have inherited that little trait. So seeing my beautiful baby so close to what, to me, is obviously clear death, sent my poor heart into a tizzy.  Once I'd managed to pull her back from the edge and she'd managed to remove my death grip from her arm, we had a long talk about safety.  With only me on this trip with them, we all needed to be extra careful.  And that included not going to close to the edges of death drops and stopping mama's heart. 

And with that, we moved on down the edge of the lake until we found this beautiful sandy beach complete with rocky point.  If you zoom in on this picture, you'll even see my two little monkeys down at the very tip of the point.  And while we were down there, these two little monkeys came out to play with us - as long as we were very still and very quiet that is. These are Yellow Bellied Marmots for those not in the know, and they apparently love this area.  Cute little guys, no?

We wrapped up the hike and started our long trek north to Montana out of the North entrance.  We hadn't gone more than a few yards when we came across this old man wandering next to the road.

I got a little too close and was the recipient of some dirty looks from one of the many wonderfully helpful park rangers.  And despite my error in judgement, she was more than happy to answer questions for us.  

As we continued to make our way North, I worried he was going to be our only encounter with a buffalo when we found this guy just chill-axing on the side of the road.  We stayed a safe distance this time.

I was thrilled to see two whole Buffalo on our trip, but we had no idea what was waiting for us just around the river bend.. just around the river bed.. (okay, name that song!)

We were stuck in traffic that didn't move for over a half hour.  Have you ever sat in bumper to bumper non-moving traffic with a 6 and 8 year old?  You do whatever it takes to keep them entertained.  And that included taking photos of lots of trees and singing Pocahontas Disney songs.  

The wait was so completely worth it.  

After sitting in the car for so long, we stopped at the first hot springs / mud pots we came to. This is Dragon Mouth Springs.  A wonderful bubbling, steaming cave that even sounded like a dragon roaring.

Bug, however, was clearly less than impressed with the smell.  

I don't know why though.  The buffalo didn't seem to mind it.

We decided to move along, but got caught behind this buffalo for a few minutes instead.  Best game of follow the leader, ever!

He led the way to the biggest herd we saw (and one of the best views) of our whole trip!  We didn't know it at the time, but there are only about 4,000 buffalo living in all of Yellowstone.  It just doesn't seem like enough considering how prevalent they used to be back in the day. 

The Tweedles and I talked a lot about why Yellowstone was protected, and why there was a need for places like this.  I don't know how much sunk in, but at least we're giving them the beginnings of a conservation education.  And with views like this, it's never to early to start.

Seriously.. Thoughts?