Thursday, November 4, 2010

Momma Bear Syndrome

I'm struggling.

I found out through a parent / teacher conference I attended for Bunny yesterday, that at a field trip she went to last week, one of the other kids (not in her class) said something mean to her.  Her feelings were hurt enough she almost cried.  Sitting there yesterday as her teacher relayed this information, at that short table in a chair that was way too small for my big adult butt, I died a little inside.

If you haven't met Bunny, let me lay it out for you.  My girl is over the top.  She's outrageous, energetic, loving, happy - oh so happy, and fun.  She has her moments of pouty-ness and tantrums mind you, but on a general whole, she's a very happy, sweet girl.  And she wants nothing more than to be everyone's friend. 

Now, even though I'm her mom, I can see how overwhelming my girl can be.  I get it.  And sometimes she's just too much.  So I understand how not everyone would instantly love her, or even want to be her friend.  I do.  But to say something openly mean to her??  Wow, I'm welling up in tears just thinking about it.  My girl.  My sweet, funny, and loving girl having her heart broken.  Having her spirit broken by some thoughtless remark, by some mean intention.  Who would do that?  You don't have to love her.  You don't even have to be her friend.  But don't be mean to my kid.  Seriously.

So I'm struggling today.  Every time I think about it, I just want to hold her close and tell her it doesn't matter what some mean kid says.  Of course, I don't.  This happened almost a week ago and I don't want to make it into some huge deal.  But I will tell her I love her.  I will tell her that she's a wonderful, amazing, smart, and beautiful girl.  And I will try to reinforce in her the self love she will need to grow into a strong and confident woman.  And thankfully, she had two wonderful teachers (her's and another) who walked her through how to handle it when people say mean things.  Those two teachers are my heros.  They lifted my girl's spirits.  They reinforced that what that kid said holds no water.  Reinforced that she's worthy when I couldn't be there.  Thank you Mrs. Huezo and Mrs. Davis! 

And still, I can't seem to let go of the bitterness at this kid who hurt my child.  And bitter that Bunny has to learn these kinds of life lessons at age 4.  A friend of mine says that kids are pure in their hearts and it's adults that teach them hate and bias.  So as angry as I am for Bunny and her hurt feelings, I'm also sad for that little kid, who probably learned by example to say mean things, also at the tender age of 4 or 5.  I guess I have to learn to be more like my Bunny.  To follow her example of just letting it go.  She hasn't let this incident slow her down.  I'm not even sure she remembers it.  Maybe I'll forget some day soon too, and focus again on the happiness  and joy in her life, instead of hurting for her.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

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