Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Introducing.. The 15 Year Old - GG

Since I introduced Bunny yesterday, I figured it was only fair to introduce the other two heathens in our family.  Today I'm going to focus on my Glamour Girl.  GG for short.

I think it's important to interject here, that I don't like her.  Not one little bit.  I'm her evil step-monster after all, and liking my step-kids just isn't allowed.  It's in the handbook.  Page 23.  If you don't believe me, go look it up.  Seriously.  So, I want to just make that clear from the start.  I find her annoying for a number of reasons I will be happy to point out below.   And I just want us all to be on the same page.  Okay? Good.  Now, back to GG.

I met her when she was 5.  When we first met, she used to sneak chocolate and eat cereal under the dining room table so no one would see.  She used to pretend she was Arial the mermaid and wrap a towel around her lower body when she would take baths.  She used to streak through the living room butt-naked giggling with glee after her mermaid stints in the tub.  I think she may have been trying to re-create the scene in The Little Mermaid when Arial gets legs.  But maybe she just liked to run through the house nekkid.

Her older sister was 11 when I first entered their lives and with that many years difference between her and her sister, she was the baby in every sense of the word.  And she was an annoyingly beautiful little thing.  Take a look and I know you'll agree.

Unfortunately, she knew she was an adorable little thing.  And like with most youngest children (and I can speak to this directly, as I am a youngest child), she was spoiled rotten.  In some good ways, and some bad ways.  And she, just like Bunny, was a ham, eager to perform for anyone who showed the slightest bit of interest, or not.  She would perform songs in the living room like she was on stage in a packed stadium. For 5, she had no fear of her audience.  And her audience never failed to sing her praises.

She's 15 now.  YIKES.. has it really been 10 years already?  Seriously, what does that say about me?  Just how old does that make me?  Wait a minute.  Don't answer that.  Lets not dwell.  Back to my GG.  She's 15 now and going to be entering her Junior year of high school in the fall.   

The number one most annoying thing about GG is that she's smart.  There's no way of getting around that.  She's a really smart girl.  The kind of girl you used to dislike a lot in school because they knew "stuff" that you didn't.  She doesn't always apply her brains as she should, but she could if she wanted to.  And just knowing that, annoys me most days because she's smart in areas I will never be smart in.  Like math.  Oh math, you were the bane of my high school existence, but not for my GG.  She's math smart.  And science smart.  And honestly, when she grows up, she could be or do just about anything she wanted.  Through most of elementary and junior high she insisted she wanted to be a scientist.  The type of scientist changed regularly, but it was always a scientist of some sort.  More recently, her interests have turned more towards photography and cinematography.  Which is an amazing and annoying thing all at the same time.  Amazing because she has a good eye (I'll show some of her work another day), and annoying because she's always stealing my camera. Someone get this girl her own camera already!

But wait!  There's more annoying things about my girl.  She's 15.  I'm sure I mentioned that earlier, but I feel the need to repeat it before my next set of photos.  She's 15. She's 15.  She's only 15! I have to repeat this over and over, because my girl at 15, does not look 15.  My girl at 15 (have I mentioned she's only 15??) looks more like 23.  I wouldn't lie.  See for yourself.

This was from last September when she was still only 14.  And I absolutely love this photo, but this is not the face of a 14 year old.  The "look" of a 14 year old.  At least I don't think so.  And neither does The Hubs.  This has caused a few sleepless nights and angry "Dad" looks at grown men who have the gall to check out our daughter.  Grown men!  But if you disagree, please let us know if we're over re-acting.  Soon though.  I think The Hubs might be buying a gun later today. (I kid! Maybe.)

Another really annoying thing about my girl, is that she's tan.  Her mom is half Armenian, which makes her 1/4 Armenian.  And that 1/4 is an annoyingly lovely shade of tan.  All. The. Time.  And God help us in the summer.  The girl positively bronzes.  Combine that with her beautiful brown eyes and is it any wonder grown men are checking my girl out?  Yeah, I hear you giggling over there Missy.  You just pipe down with your tan skin and brown eyes.  You know no one likes you right?   No one likes a show-off.  Truly.

You are annoying GG, but I still love you, even if you are a smart, beautiful, tan, 23 year old lookin', 15 year old.  But don't tell anyone.  I have an evil step-monster rep to protect.

Seriously.. Thoughts?

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